Husband & Wife SMS ( Page 2)

31) In newyork, a man was watching a movie at home and suddenly shouts nooooooooooooo!! :'( Don't go inside the church its a trap!! Wife: what are u watching? Man: our wedding DVD

32) wife:honey,what r u looking 4? husband: nothing wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ? husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

33) A Sweet demand by a kid. A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked- what happen son? Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.

34) Husband sent a text to his wife at night, "Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return." He sent another text, "And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car" She text back, "OMG really?" Husband replied, "No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message".

35) Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes! Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!

36) A recently fired stock trader said ... "This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything and I still have my wife..."

37) A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife? After making call he asked how much to pay. Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

38) Position of husband is like a split A.C. No matter how loud he is outside, but inside the house, he is designed to remain silent, cool & controlled by remote.

39) Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest and pease so here are some sleeping pills. Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him? Doctor:They are for you.!!

40) Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living... But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living

41) It is said that Husband is the head of the family, But Remember that wife is the Neck of the family. & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants. :)

42) In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife. WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him! SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

43) HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further M0ral: always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

44) A line written on a Husband's T shirt : ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN.. . . . . . . . OF THEM..:-P

45) An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone: "Where d Hell Are You ... ?" Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewelery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... " O:) Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love ! Husband: I m In The Pub Just Next To That Shop..

46) Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"

47) A man received d phone from emergency room of hospital Doctor: Your wife was in a fatal car accident & I've bad n good news. The bad news is, She has lost both arms n legs n will b on a respirator d rest of her life. Man: 0h my God, whats the good news? Doctor: I'm kidding, She is Dead... =P =

48) ''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women" :P

49) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

50) Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife is kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

51) If you marry one woman, She will fight with you. But, if you marry 2 women, They will fight for you. Think different. Add wife, have life

52) Husband throwing knives on wifes picture. All were missing the target! Suddenly he received call from her "Hi,wat ru doin?" His honest reply,"MISSING U"

53) Wife: What is so interesting in me? Husband: I dont know the meaning of interesting!!!

54) When a married man says- "I'll think about it", What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.. :-P Lolz

55) Doctor: sorry , reports got mixed up. We don't know if your wife has AIDS or Asthma! husband: What should i do now? Doctor - Send her 4 jogging, if she returns, don't sleep with her!

56) Judge: How can you prove you were not speeding your car? Man: Sir, I was on the way to bring back my wife from her mother's home! Judge: that's all, case dismissed

57) As per research A man speaks 25,000 words daily & A woman speaks 30,000 Problem starts when husband comes home from office after consuming his 25,000 words & wife starts her 30,000..

58) Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover? Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

59) Cool Msg by a woman- Dear Mother- in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement" ;)

60) What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.